Is God Listening?

Is God listening? I have been struggling with a difficult issue that has brought me to tears. I have not been religious for more than two years. Meaning, I have ceased to pray, go to a religious institution, or read the Bible. I don’t even believe God interferes with everyday life. However, I am currently experiencing a high level of anxiety and sadness, to the point of crying out of desperation to God. I am actually doing what I have criticized and labeled as “irrational” and “self-centered.” Praying to God only when in need of something or out of despair.

Could it be that, because of my lack of faith and religious abandonment, that God is “teaching me” a lesson? Wouldn’t this mean that God is not merciful? Or could it be that God is helping me be closer to Him through this tribulation? Could there be another way to get closer to God instead of through suffering? Is this what finding the true God is about? I hope someone can give me some insight, since I am struggling with the idea of begging to God just because I wish circumstances to be different.  I don’t want to feel that I am trying to “manipulate” God into allowing things to be my way.   I have also prayed that, if it is not His will, to help me accept whatever happens.  I have been writing in forums and sharing with other bloggers as well, in hopes to find some answers.

I just want to be fair and not pray out of convenience.  But I fear that I may be talking to empty space.  Don’t know for sure.   I will try to keep an open mind and see if this difficult experience helps me to grow spiritually…. or not.

And if you want and believe so…. please pray for me as well.  Thanks.


About Noel

I am a person who has realized that the teachings of Jesus are centralized in the genuine care and service of others. I have evolved from fundamentalism to a moderate spiritual approach. I am a reflecting person who has grown to not fear doubt but to embrace it as a means to growth and increasing closeness to God. View all posts by Noel

10 responses to “Is God Listening?

  • Graham

    Suffering is what teaches us how not to suffer, if we are ready to hear it. Being desperate can be a very useful mood. When we finally truly realize we don’t have all of the answers, or any of the answers, we are ripened enough to find God.

  • Carol Ann Hoel

    God is listening, Noel. God loves you. He is not looking for a moment to teach you. He teaches us everyday of our lives. He is looking for a way to make you know He loves you. At some point, Noel, you will have to trust Him on that. God loves you. Calvary is the proof. He bore our griefs and sorrows. He shed His blood to make us clean and to let us know that He loves us. He took away all condemnation from us. If you feel condemned for anything, Noel, know that you are forgiven and let it go. God has forgotten it. I am praying for you, Noel. Blessings to you…

  • AligningWithTruth

    Noel, I’m so sorry to hear of your difficulty. Last year, someone whose site I’m following was also going through a very difficult and painful situation. It moved me to write a post, Are Things Falling Apart Or Are They Coming Together? I listed some books which I’ve found useful during such challenging times that I myself went through. Here’s the link to that post and maybe, you’ll find something useful. Interestingly, synchronistically, it was also around this time last year. I’m holding your situation with much compassion and nurturance. Infinite Blessings & Much Peace to you Noel… ❤ ❤ ❤ NadineMarie ❤ ❤ ❤

  • S.C. Tanner

    It has been said that you must suffer to be an artist. Do you desire to become an artist?

    In “About Noel,” you wrote: “I am a reflecting Christian who has grown to not fear doubt but to embrace it as a means to growth and increasing closeness to God.” However, your opening paragraph indicates that you have found yourself in dire circumstances that is likely the primary source of your current feelings.

    You also clearly state that you have not been engaged in any spiritual practice for a couple of years. This will usually magnify the seeds of fear planted by such circumstances in a religiously trained person. I have recently found myself in similar circumstances.

    Many will tell you that religious [continuous and regular] devotion is the price we pay for spiritual favor. Some will go so far as to suggest there is a direct correlation between the degree of religious devotion given to the degree of spiritual favor received. Jesus denies this direct correlation in Mark 12: 41-44.

    Religious practices like meditation and prayer benefit us by raising and maintaining our spiritual awareness, as are most religious practices. This helps us overcome the multitude of distractions that the physical world provides. These distractions can be more than pleasures that appeal to the five senses (lust), but also potential threats to our well-being (fear). We are the direct beneficiaries of religious practices, not the Divine. The Divine wants to be connected with us, but we are the ones that suffer when we become disconnected.

    You know the truth of this by your current condition and the teachings of Christ. He taught you to turn the other cheek. If you feel like you have become offensive to Him, don’t you think He will turn the other cheek in the manner He taught? Do you understand the relationship between this teaching and the parable of the prodigal son? You are the prodigal son. Let perfect Love cast out your fear.

    Calm yourself by reflecting on fundamental truths. Stop letting fear beget more fear. You know the Divine is omnipresent and permeates all of Creation. Of course you are heard, but are you hearing?

    We are creatures that straddle the physical and spiritual realms. The physical realm is gross and imposing, while the spiritual realm is refined and subtle. Our struggle is to find and maintain balance, so we need to regularly engage the spiritual realm through personal rites and rituals. Imbalance can also be easily remedied.

    Consider a form of meditation that recognizes only the present moment. The past is only memories, often of experiences that raise fear. The future is only speculation that is the source of anxiety. Only the present moment is real, so focus on this moment. Let this be your portal of reality.

    True prayer establishes a connection with the Divine. Many perceive prayer as a vehicle for their wishlist, asking for divine protection and the destruction of their enemies. The latter perception lacks enlightenment and is really quite juvenile. As meditation creates a portal of reality, prayer connects us to spiritual reality.

    As you know, It is common and quite acceptable to initiate the conversation, as long as you speak truth. The ability to hear, see, smell, taste, and/or feel a response is often more dependent on an individual’s ability to discard personal expectations and to exercise patience.

    I know from your previous writings that you essentially know all this. This post suggests that you are facing a terrible trial though, and need something to bring you to ground. I firm hug and somebody to listen might be more helpful, but I am in no position to offer that. However, my prayer for you to find your way through this time is behind every word I have written. If these words do not help, hopefully the prayer will.

    • Noel

      S.C. It is great to hear back from you. Your words are extremely helpful. And I trust that your prayers will help as well. I agree completely with every thing you wrote here. My circumstance have taught me to reconsider what I have been thinking lately about God’s lack of intervention. Still, my doubts about the effectiveness of prayer remain. But I choose to use this doubt to my advantage by “testing” it with daily prayer, being aware to ask for growth, patience, grace, and understanding, instead of my own will. Being in the present moment has been my greatest challenge, but my greatest desire as well. I believe God can only be found in the present (which may be the meaning of the great “I AM” ). Thanks for your profound and kind words.

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