Becoming Nothing

What is Nothing? My mind creates so much that it has been difficult to separate myself from the fabricated environment I live in.   I must be something separate from  the mind that creates all the surroundings that my five senses perceives and interprets.  But what exactly is to be out of my mind? It is almost as divorcing from the self that I have identified with.  It is abandoning who I think I have been.  On a daily basis, I must take new,  uncomfortable steps  in order to start experiencing the real me.  I must separate from what makes me feel safe, secured, and not vulnerable. It is scary, but it must be done.

For example, I have changed the way I perceive others by being less judgmental.  I have changed my attitude about food and adopting a healthier diet.  I have changed the way I approach life in general, by acting more simplistic and be content with the few.  I have started to empty myself more and more to a point of desiring to be Nothing.  Yes, you  read it right.  I want one day to be Nothing.  No, I am not writing about ending my physical life as in suicide.  I am talking about ending my life as in spiritual death.  Dying so that I can live.  And in order to die, I must become Nothing.

Isn’t this what the spiritual journey is all about?  By becoming Nothing, I can actually become something new.  Isn’t this what the concept of God is all about?   Isn’t it true that in order to experience God, I must first empty myself from selfish agendas… divorce myself from myself?    Isn’t it true that in order to meet God, I must first separate myself from all the fullness that this world and  that my five senses have perceived as necessary?  Isn’t it true that I must be Nothing so that I can be something?  Maybe by being Nothing, I am already experiencing God.  Maybe I must stop wishing to be something different, and simply be Nothing.

What about God?  The concept of God is too transcendent and great for my limited mind to comprehend.  It is inconceivable.  Like the idea of Nothingness is inconceivable.  Can you perceive being nothing?  Can you grasp the notion of being before existence?  I cannot.  What would it be like to  be nothing?  Maybe God knows… or maybe the path towards God is through Nothingness.

Can you perceive God?  I cannot, the same way I cannot perceive Nothingness.  If God is experienced through Nothingness  then His existence is not the same as my existence, because I exist because I was created, I am something.  God  is beyond what I can ever comprehend.  This is why, the closest notion of God I can possibly have in my limited mind is the concept of Nothingness.

Peace. Calm. Serenity.  Surrendering. These concepts bring me closer to God.  Closer to Nothingness.

At the same time, I have understood that God is love, or we can experience a glimpse of God when we practice genuine and selfless caring for others.   Still, this definition of Love requires emptying myself… creating space in me…. so that I am able to reach out and help others selflessly.

It requires sacrifice.  It involves denying my self.  It requires leaning towards Nothingness.

The closer I get to Nothingness, the closer I get to God.

Therefore, I am becoming Nothing.

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About Noel

I am a person who has realized that the teachings of Jesus are centralized in the genuine care and service of others. I have evolved from fundamentalism to a moderate spiritual approach. I am a reflecting person who has grown to not fear doubt but to embrace it as a means to growth and increasing closeness to God. View all posts by Noel

16 responses to “Becoming Nothing

  • The Professor

    Great dedication. Like the Buddhist feel to it.

    Mark Blasini

  • Mishayah

    Hi Noel

    What you are seeking is the cross, but Gethsemane comes first. It’s not what you might expect. YHVH will impart His heart to you, and it will break your heart. But also He will separate you from what you perceive as yourself. There is no such thing as what you are seeking, that is nothingness. What happens at the cross is your duality is separated. There is a dark Joel and a light Joel. Sounds strange I know, but think of it as two voices that play within you, folly and wisdom or even fear and love. The dark one is driven out and the real you remains, the you that was created when when you received the word of truth, the word of life. At the cross one dies and the other is risen.

    Michael

    • Noel

      Mishayah, I appreciate your feedback. I used to be a fundamental Christian, so I understand your view. Jesus taught many things that still are an important part of my spiritual journey , i.e. surrendering, self denial, serving the poor, etc. The cross you are referring is a symbol of surrendering what we have been attaching to and becoming something new, becoming free from the selfish lifestyle and the tendency to defend the ego. Thank you.

  • lulu

    Your post reminds me a bit of Always We Begin Again. If you don’t know this little book, I think you’d like it.

  • hifzan shafiee

    I think that is from Buddhism thought. Right? Sound familiar.

  • stainedimages

    Great Post! I’ve been reading a book on KRSNA Consciousness lately, and a lot of your words resonate with the book on a certain level. There obviously is a duality to everything in the universe, so the idea that God (or whatever one chooses to call it) can be everything can only be counterbalanced with the idea that there has to be nothing. Everything and Nothing are certainly different sides of the same coin, so exposing yourself to both possibilities will allow you to truly know yourself. Much appreciated post.

    • Noel

      Stainedimages, my understading of Nothing is the path towards emptying myself, simplifying my life, and being at peace to the point of being totally selfless.

  • Ganesh

    Nothing is Everything! 🙂

  • Ian Gardner

    You are certainly on the correct track, Noel, stick to the rails and the track will carry you home.
    N.B. Between the rails are sleepers so that the journier – rather than journeyman – does not tire. 🙂

  • mydailey

    I had to look this article up. May I say you express it very well? I liked your words better than mine.

  • A place of nothingness « Philippines Emmaus Walk

    […] (Photo: courtesy of Living the Kingdom) […]

  • Robert

    But even “Nothing” is a concept, and so is “becoming”, and who is this “I” that “becomes” “nothing”? Try not to “think” about it too much…lol

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