Close my eyes

I close my eyes, most of the time, and see a life where I determine my destiny.  I choose what I am going to do, I pick my clothes, food, place to live, and way of life.  I keep my eyes close and see a fairly acceptable life where I try to live the American Dream, succeed in my career, love those who love me, and be a respectful civilian.  Yes, this is the life I choose to live, and I decide to continue to live, as long as I keep my eyes shut.  But the second I open my eyes, I see horror. So I close them again.  I don’t want to see what is out there.  I feel safer right where I am, in my comfort zone.  But I remember those images when I opened my eyes.  They are full of hunger, thirst, famine, natural disasters, hatred, and injustice.  They are the reminder of the real world.  But I don’t want to live in the real world.  I prefer to be safe, in my own world, with my eyes shut.  I also claim to be a spiritual person, because I go to church, with my eyes closed.  I greet people, give offerings, and read the Bible, with my eyes closed.  Jesus says He is the light, but I don’t see him.  He says He is the Way, but I don’t follow him.  He says that I must deny myself in order to follow Him, but I don’t, because my eyes our closed, afraid to discover what does denying myself means.  But HE also said that if I don’t feed Him, give Him water, visit Him in prison and when sick, then I am not invited in His Kingdom.  That sounds rude and unfair, because I go to church and give offering.  How can He not invite me? I read the Bible and believe that He is my Savior.  What am I missing that He might not invite me in his Kingdom?

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About Noel

I am a person who has realized that this existence is an opportunity to engage in the genuine care and service of others. I have evolved from fundamentalism to a moderate spiritual approach. I am an introvert, an artist, and a a reflecting person who has grown to not fear doubt but to embrace it as a means to growth and increasing closeness to the fullness of life. View all posts by Noel

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