I was raised as a devoted Christian , in the Roman Catholic Church, which was like a spiritual Ice Age. But my life started “melting” when I transferred to a Pentecostal church, where I had a deeper sense of the meaning of God, the Bible, and the presence of the Holy Spirit. After almost 10 years of actively working in the church, I came to a conclusion that what I was doing was mere tradition and duty, but not a profound relationship with God. I thought I had it all figured out, but the presence of God in my life has been superficial. I have been disillusioned many times by the acts of man in the church, to the point that I have felt embarrassed to even be called a Christian. But I strongly believe that God is greater than what I have experienced so far. I have been looking at my life in a different way now. I started attending a new church a year or so ago, but still struggle with having a true relationship with God, particularly Jesus. I have written a log full of experiences, both good and bad, close and far from God, but always struggling in my faith. I have learned that this is normal in the Christian life. But I want more. More than just going to church and reading the Bible once in a while. I want to give it all, but to feel the urgency and the passion first. I have learned lately that Jesus probably meant something more than just be nice to one another and spread the Good News. I want to experience the true meaning of His teachings. I want to get out of my comfort zone and “be born again” in a genuine way, not in ways that others tell me to. I want to live the Kingdom of Heaven the way Jesus meant. Do you know what I mean?
September 14, 2009
The Evolution of my Spiritual Life