When I peel an onion
I have to peel the onion one layer at a time.
At the beginning, the outer layer looks attractive and beautiful…. it can be golden, white, purple, yellow. The onion looks full and healthy.
Then I start peeling more and more layers. The first layer is the initial and basic concepts about life.
Religion, values, patriotism, family, professionalism….
all the ideas and concepts I started learning from early age.
Which, of course, are just ideas and concepts.
The more I peel these layers away, the more I peel away these ideas… which I also call illusions.
Because they are not in the here and now…. they are fabrications of my mind.
All the memories…. all the goals…. all the dreams… all these ideas keep me away from the present moment.
So I keep peeling away all those basic thoughts and ideas that I have been taught.
And, the same way that I peel and onion, and can irritate my eyes, they get watery, and I start crying,
The same way I feel when I peel away all of these ideas… the concept about religion, about my family,
my country… my culture… my hobbies…. my profession. My… my… my…
All of these ideas , which also implied ownership, are not based on reality, or the here and now.
I peel away and I also start crying , because… they are just illusions. They once made me happy… secured.
But it was a temporary happiness… it was a superficial state of identity and belonging.
So I cry… because I feel sad….sad because I miss this false sense of security.
But I bravely keep peeling away, to see the reality of this existence…. which I call Life.
And when I finally reach the center of the onion…. what do I find there?
What is at the core of the onion? What is at the center of life when I peel off all of these ideas?
No more religion… no more patriotism… I don’t belong anywhere … profession is just a title …. dreams are just imaginations … I don’t own anything … because it is all an illusion.
What do I have left, then?
That is what I have left… the emptiness of life.
Is this a sad conclusion? Or is it just it ?
Simply being…. it is not good…. it is not bad.
It simply is.