River

I used to be a pond, but now I am a river.  Walking on this journey , never ending journey, like a river that runs and never stops. Sometimes it encounters rocks, pebbles, and it alters its flow, but the river keeps going.

From strict to flexible…. from desperate to hopeful,…. from being afraid of death, to being prepared for the transition to the next life…. from idolizing God, to serving God….. from religion to spirituality…. from feeling guilty for doubting, to  accepting doubt as a tool to know God more…. from being stagnated to being fluid and constantly changing.   From pretending to be certain about this life, to continuing to seek …. from knowing to being comfortable with the unknown…. from trying to convince others that my views are right, to acknowledging my mistakes.

I am tired…. but the river keeps going in spite of the rock and pebbles. I am without answers, but the river keeps flowing closer  to the Truth.

Sometimes the river reaches a waterfall, where it simply gives in to gravity…. and falls.  From being desperate and wanting immediate answers, to  patience….. from experiencing confusion and worries, to experiencing peace. …. from being spiritually distracted with specific doctrines, to experiencing presence.   From resisting and avoiding pain, to surrendering.  From living a superficial life, to simplicity.  From wanting to survive, to wanting to serve.

I am a river.